ZThemes

and this is gonna hurt

GotaBulletintheChamber

"Yo, Reno here, try to keep up!"

This is a mostly canon and post-Advent Children Reno blog, willing to play any time period and cross-fandom friendly. Affiliated with Mauvais Lumiere.

bourbonandmint:

andthisisgonnahurt:

bourbonandmint replied to your post “((SO, I’m still alive, just working like MAD to get stuff done for…”

{JESUS CHRIST ON A POGO STICK}

((That is such an awesome image, I can’t even.))

{I’m just badass like that.}

image

(source)

((That.  Rude wins, everyone else go home.))

posted 1 week agovia©reblog

bourbonandmint replied to your post “((SO, I’m still alive, just working like MAD to get stuff done for…”

{JESUS CHRIST ON A POGO STICK}

((That is such an awesome image, I can’t even.))

((SO, I’m still alive, just working like MAD to get stuff done for sakuracon. Nearly finished with Cloud, just finished sculpting and painting the wolf head for the shoulderpiece.))

+ Lost in the Woods

gunslingersdirge:

And, he was right back to ignoring again, it would seem. He rolled his eyes at the nonsense coming out of Reno’s mouth and then turned to walk towards the largest tree at the edge of their clearing, and he peered up through the branches for a moment, internally calculating the best route.

His feet firmly pushed off the ground as he leapt up towards the lowest branches, which were easily a dozen feet off the ground. The claws of his left hand dug into the tree bark halfway up the trunk to give himself a boost, and with minimal effort he swung his body up onto the branch in a crouch with both hands holding the branch to steady himself. His tattered cloak swayed with the motion of his body lifting to stand upright, balanced perfectly on the branch for a moment before he jumped once more, lunging upwards and clawing his way up through the branches of the tree.

image

All in all, the climb took him less than a minute to reach the upper branches of the tree, and he perched delicately upon a thin branch near the top, his clawed hand holding the trunk as he leaned against it for some support. Based on where the sun sat in the sky (assuming, of course, that the sun rose in the east and set in the west), he could fairly easily determine which way was north, which would give him some bearings to try to figure out where they were… 

Except for the fact that the horizon in all directions was alien to him. There were mountains far to the north that he didn’t recognize, a river running south out of the mountains, and trees as far as he could see in all other directions. A sudden rumbling caught his attention, and he lifted his right hand up to shield his eyes from the sun as he craned his neck to look for its source. A plume of smoke slowly rising from the tree line to the north soon caught his eye, and he bit his bottom lip as he thought of the implications of a possible explosion in the middle of a forest.

He glanced down to the ground where Reno remained, and he let out a soft sigh to himself as he accepted the fact that he was likely stuck with him for the foreseeable future.  His hand loosened its grip on the tree trunk, and he leaned his body’s weight forward slightly, starting the fall down through the branches back towards the ground. His arms hung tight beside him and he shifted his body slightly here and there to avoid crashing into any branches on his way down.

At the last moment, his left hand shot out to once again dig his claws into the tree bark and slow his descent enough to get his feet out beneath him. He landed almost silently, his cloak dramatically swishing out around him as he struck the ground, and he slowly rose up to his feet and lifted a hand to brush some dust off his chest.

With a glance in Reno’s direction, he gestured to the tree line with a nod. “We’re going north.” And he spun on one heel and began to walk in that direction, not waiting for Reno to argue.

Naturally, Valentine would not only ignore him, but go off climbing trees and shit, but what did Reno care?  If the bastard could get a grip on where they were that way, more power to him.  The redhead settled in a lean against one of the nearby tree trunks, crossing his arms and actually shutting up in favor of sulking.  He’d wait, see what the other had to say, and then decide on his own course of action.  Besides, there was no sense in trying to talk to Valentine when he was being all dramatic.  It wouldn’t get anyone anywhere.

True to the man’s usual, he landed with an overdramatic swish of that ridiculous cape, which the Turk rolled his eyes over, and then stood and made his comment with absolutely no information to support it either way.  ”Uh, okay, North sounds about as good as any other fuckin’ direction.  Why North?” he demanded, and while he wasn’t exactly arguing, since he was also following, he wanted information.  Obviously, something suggested that North was the way to go, that or Valentine was just closing his eyes and pointing in a direction (hell, they could be going Southeast right then, and Reno wouldn’t be able to tell right now), and if he was going to try to get his own bearings here, he needed to know.

"Listen, I know I ain’t your favorite person, but it makes a hell of a lot more sense to work together until we figure out what’s goin’ on, right?"

posted 1 month agovia©reblog
"I asked if you wanted to be in SOLDIER, but all you did was Grunt."
+ ibecameahero-archive-deactivate

kuraudoh:

andthisisgonnahurt:

kuraudoh:

                       ”I asked Aerith what she thought of you one time, she didn’t say a word—- but then I remembered she still had my dick in her mouth.”

image

"You know, she’s a lady, Strife.”

image

                    “.. Even if I wasn’t joking, what would that have to do with anything-? Aerith is allowed to do what she wants, Lady or not.”

"Jokin’ or no, you get a lady, you don’t talk about her like that.  She deserves better, and you can bet your ass she ever hears you jokin’ like that, she’d kick your ass."  And when she’s done, Tseng would take over.

posted 1 month agovia©reblog
"I asked if you wanted to be in SOLDIER, but all you did was Grunt."
+ ibecameahero-archive-deactivate

kuraudoh:

                       ”I asked Aerith what she thought of you one time, she didn’t say a word—- but then I remembered she still had my dick in her mouth.”

"You know, she’s a lady, Strife.”

posted 1 month agovia©reblog
Tagged #kuraudoh
[Text]: Come over 2 my place and play strip poker.
+ andthisisgonnahurt

bourbonandmint:

andthisisgonnahurt:

bourbonandmint:

[txt] NO GOLD SAUCER HOOKERS.

[txt] First i h8 u. Second scarlet still has a better ass. Third feelin some tacos 4 dinner again. Fourth ur gettin regular sex now u cant text me tellin me about it anymore.

[txt] First, don’t lie. Second, maybe to you. Third, I can handle that. Fourth, I told you nothing about sex at all.

[txt] If I come over with tacos am I going to end up cleaning up jello?

[txt] Tacos b4 strip poker I agree and u implied sex.

posted 1 month agovia©reblog
[Text]: R u naked?
+ andthisisgonnahurt

bourbonandmint:

andthisisgonnahurt:

bourbonandmint:

andthisisgonnahurt:

bourbonandmint:

[txt] Hour and a half ago, yes. Right now, not so much.

[txt] Not gonna end me. I wanted u 2 hit that. Think im allowed a little starin

[txt] Exactly, you already got what you wanted. Mine now. Eyeballs back in your head.

[txt] Still say its allowed.

[txt] She’s just threatened to castrate you with her bare hands if you look.

[txt] EMRs aint life threatenin remember.

posted 1 month agovia©reblog
[Text]: Gonna need a ride home. Don’t ask why.
+ andthisisgonnahurt

bourbonandmint:

andthisisgonnahurt:

bourbonandmint:

andthisisgonnahurt:

bourbonandmint:

[txt] Do I ever ask why? Give me ten.

[txt] Best

Of course he’s the best. He’s still alive after how many years of doing this job? Rolling up in the SUV, Rude popped the door locks and waited for Reno to get in. 

"You look like shit on stale toast. Have a taco."

Hey, Reno was still alive, too.  Climbing into the SUV, he wasn’t sure how he felt about that right then, but hey, tacos.  He grabbed one of them and unwrapped it to start eating, totally nonchalant about the situation.  ”Thanks and thanks.  How’s your night?”

"Uneventful save for being the guy who brought a knife to a gunfight." He pulled waway from the curb and headed in the direction of Reno’s apartment. 

The guy was upright and mostly in one piece. No rushing off to the ER unless he bled out in the elevator. “And yours?”

"Brought a shock stick to a knife fight.  With three guys.  Kinda sucked.  Looks like the gunfight went alright.  You get the guy?" he asked, assuming Rude had, since it was only injury that would have stopped him and he didn’t look injured.  

Yes, the ER could wait, though Rude, as partner, had the right to insist if he wobbled too badly in the elevator.  

posted 1 month agovia©reblog
[Text]: Come over 2 my place and play strip poker.
+ andthisisgonnahurt

bourbonandmint:

andthisisgonnahurt:

bourbonandmint:

andthisisgonnahurt:

bourbonandmint:

[txt] NO GOLD SAUCER HOOKERS.

[txt] I have bits she don’t. Scarlet is mean. Ur an ass

[txt] Do not bring my ass in to this conversation. It is by far the second best ass that has been discussed tonight.

[txt] Tifa n Scarlet both have better asses. Dont kid urself. Thats why i want strip poker.

Three hours pass…..

[txt] I disagree. Up to date inspection records indicate that Lockhart and I are the bearers of the best assess on the planet. Do not argue this with me.

[txt] First i h8 u. Second scarlet still has a better ass. Third feelin some tacos 4 dinner again. Fourth ur gettin regular sex now u cant text me tellin me about it anymore.

posted 1 month agovia©reblog